How Do You Stop Judging People?
Hey…I’m a 15 year old deadhead. I was born into a family of hippies and they’ve raised me well. Deadheads are nonjudgemental right? I find myself judging others often. My reason being that there are so many phonies out there, who just don’t understand. I hate to judge others,
it makes me bum out. But I don’t want to surround myself with people like that. How do you feel when you see a young hippie, but you know
their heart isn’t in it? Please tell me.
Love Tessa
Being judgemental has survival value to our species. We need to distinguish between our kind and others. That helps preserve our DNA’s characteristics, can’t go mating with just anybody, right? It’s one of those things we’ve been programmed to do. Overcoming our genetic proclivities is quite a challenge.
As any geneticist will tell you however, interbreeding weakens the species. It’s far better to have individuals with different characteristics (and DNA) breed so there is more diversity in the genetic code. This leads to another human proclivity, opposites attract! So what’s this got to do with hippies?
In the case you mention, you can distinguish between the phony and the real hippies, having been raised by the latter. But how many old hippies were phony? Just because they were products of the 60s doesn’t make them any more real than these young hippies. How else could they become corporate executives, republicans and politicians (especially those who didn’t inhale)? Did they sell out their values, or did they never truly believe in them to begin with?
Judging people is society’s way of keeping us apart. Having traveled around the world, I have learned that people are the same everywhere. They have the same needs, hopes and dreams. It is society that has incorporated our genetic coding into social patterns of discrimination. That’s what makes it doubly difficult. We must transcend both our genetic and social programming to achieve a worldview in which everyone is equal.
In a world that rewards the fastest, the smartest, the strongest, the luckiest, the weathiest, the most popular, the most creative, the most devious, the most powerful, the most dangerous, most people follow one of these models. We must find new models that don’t require us to surpass others to achieve our goals. What if achieving our goals was dependent upon helping others achieve theirs? This is a form of selflessness that is required for real personal growth.
So judging people is just programming that you can undo. You must realize that others are also programmed and just doing what they are programmed to do. Even the minor act of dressing like a hippy is a programmed symbolic act of rebellion against parental authority. They probably wouldn’t dream of adopting any radical hippie views, since that would require a deep reprogramming, for which they are unprepared.
Yet, you must feel somewhat insulted to see people who dress the role, know a few of the lines, but don’t really have a clue what the script is about. You know it’s just a matter of time before they either give up this folly and get on with their programmed lives, or discover the script’s inner meaning and begin to live it. If you are friendly with these individuals, you might want to discuss this with them. If they don’t get it, don’t fret, you’ve done your part.
-The Old Hippy
Posted by: skip
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