Ask The Old Hippie
Thanks for the great response to Ask the Old Hippy.
The Old Hippy regrets he an’t answer everyone’s questions.
The most recent questions and answers are below.
“Old hippies don’t die, they just lie low until the laughter stops and their time comes round again.” – Joseph Gallivan
i love you old hippie. i love the way you help people out, young people who have become lost are need to find their way, or at least need a song to sing on the journey. i might be one of those people, i dont know.
maybe i am just searching for answers? there are so many questions in my head. but i know that i have a lot of power and thus need to be properly informed. i also know that i have to take care of myself, which i am not very good at.
i hope that you can help me. i didn’t know where else to turn. please don’t desert me old hippie!
i will begin:
it begins with a boy whose name starts with t. he has too much hair and a cheeky smile. he looks like harry potter, only a bit. i fall in love with him. he falls in love back…at least he says he does. we are together and happy. he betrays me, and i become scared. i cling. i suffocate. he does not say anything as it is his fault that i am so insecure. inside he crumbles. he freaks. he runs. i grab, and my fingers clutch on nothing. clutch on something..on nothing…on love…on indifference…on love again…on indifference again.
i wish he’d make his mind up! he does make his mind up, and i cry into his pillow. he holds me. …i’d love to still be friends’. we are friends. we might come together in the future. i am scared…confused…hurt…loved…happy…relived
can you help?
You have lots of questions, about life and your place in it. That is good. Don’t ever stop asking questions, cause then you’ll stop growing.
Love affects us in many ways. Confusion is a normal byproduct. Don’t get hungup on one person, especially when you’re so young – a common mistake, from which there is much to learn. Realize he is feeling as much of an emotional rollercoaster as you. So don’t hold things against him, or yourself. You’re both young and inexperienced, but that will soon pass, and you’ll be more confident about what you want from a relationship as you get more experience. Sounds to me like you’re making this into way more than it needs to be, and laying heavy trips on this poor boy. Let it go for now (no more clutching!), and look around at all the other guys. I’m sure there are several trying to get your attention…
second: animals are killed and eaten by other animals. we are animals.
we kill and eat those smaller than ourselves. is this wrong? being a vegetarian is tricky… not that i would know. but i’ve heard! i want to be, i want to be and i want to be healthy.
We are animals. Yes we are, indeed. But aren’t we supposed to be smarter than they? We don’t need meat to survive. Yet we CHOOSE to eat it. Therefore our karma is tainted by our choices on food. Why kill an animal if there is no good reason? Oh, that’s right, it tastes good! That’s a good enough reason to kill, right?
old hippie, i am sick of being sugar-soaked. not fat-soaked you understand, but dripping with sweetness and sugar and i can feel it course through my veins and it drives me mad.
i fear i am addicted.
Sugar addiction is very dangerous. Learn what foods are healthy for your body. Those that give you more than just energy or a sugar rush. Learn, learn, learn!
…and so it goes on. what is anarchy? am i an anarchist? i want to be, i want everyone to be happy, but if it was the best wouldn’t we already have it?
To learn more about anarchy, just do a search for the word on Hippy.com.
and some more, schooling, college, uni: my life. i don’t know what to do, where to go. i tell myself i want to be this, or that and then i lack the dicipline to carry it over. or maybe my system is telling me it’s not right for me. my father is rich and expects me to do the same. oh, the same sad story over and over and over! must be the thousandth time you’ve heard it: what did you tell the others?
As far as school and a career goes, you’re still too young, not too old to make these decisions. Yes, it’s not the best time to start to learn somethings, but other things are out there waiting for you. Keep looking. Once you start college you’ll discover many other opportunities you didn’t even know existed. How about getting involved in serving others? You seem to care a lot about the world and issues of importance. Why not do something about it? You can volunteer your time, or get involved in politics or social issues. There’s a lot more that people can do constructively than work a 9 to 5 and pickup a paycheck.
If you have a wealthy family, you are in a much better position to help others than most. Also once you start doing things for others, in a selfless, unconditional way, you will be amazed at what that does for your own self-esteem. Indeed, scientists have just discovered that giving to others (not just money, but time, attention, etc.), activates the pleasure centers of our brains! So this is now an established fact! See for yourself!
recently i have found a friend in the form of a tarot reader. she reads my tarot and we talk about me. she tells me i am beautiful: i am scared that she simply wants my money. how do i trust?
Tarot reading is fun and can be enlightening. But too much of it leads to a dependence on your part as well as the tarot reader. People will take advantage of others if there’s money to be gained. Get your own cards and learn how to read ’em. It’s not hard. Take the power and embrace it. You control your own destiny!
at night i cry for the world. i want to fix it. i am scared for the future. old hippie, how is the future looking?
The future is not looking too good. My generation was the last to actively be really concerned about the future of ourselves, our loved ones and the planet we live on. The past couple of generations haven’t cared much about the future and it shows. Most people are living from paycheck to paycheck, (if they have a job), and can’t plan anything beyond their next vacation. So why should our government’s or corporations be any better? They only care about this month’s profits and the reactions of their shareholders. They don’t give a flying fuck about the rest of the world, the environment or the future of mankind. That doesn’t help their bottom line. Used to be governments made 5 and 10 year plans and stuck to them. Not anymore. So you wonder what the future is going to be like. Of course you do! Cause nobody else gives a shit! So nobody can tell you, or is willing to tell you the truth about it!
But I will. Unless you and your generation get off your fat asses, and wake up and smell the putrification of our planet, you and your children are going to be living in the most vile sewer man has ever created. And that’s the good news. Fascists will soon have complete control of the planet (but not until after the worst world war ever!). Freedom will be a distant memory. Slavery will become the norm, although it will continue to be sugar coated. Those with the money and power will live apart from the miserable masses of humanity (they pretty much do already). Our once fertile, green planet, will no longer be so. Massive die offs, starting with sea creatures, continuing with the extinction of hundreds of land animals and ending with an unprecedented loss of certain varieties of plant life will spell our eventual doom.
But it needn’t be so. You can act! And so can your friends. But time is running out. If your generation doesn’t change things, there’s not much hope. But YOU have the power, so use it!
i have a friend who ends with l. he is in the airforce cadets over here in australia. they have a heirachy. he was telling me about it. he is somewhere in the heirachy. he gets to yell, to scare,to boss around. i think this is wrong. no human should have this type of power over
another. but i feel his song, and it is good. i have two friends, him and another. they both have a way of making me feel inferior. i resent it. they are too cocky.
One big problem with our society is the abuse of power. Power corrupts. So we must find new ways to ensure that power is distributed equally among all the people. There is no good, valid reason why someone should have more power than someone else. You can just as effectively manage the world with an even delegation of power. Then people wouldn’t feel powerless about their situation, and would be actively engaged in improving their lives and their communities. As it is, few people feel empowered by our system. That’s why most people don’t bother to vote or even voice their opinions. They feel there’s nothing they can change. But that’s where they’re wrong! But it’s going to take more than just a few to change the entire system. And boy does it ever need changing!
old hippie, why do we find death funny? why do we enjoy watching people be hurt or humilliated? the soapies are full of it. why can’t we be pumped full of love, music and sex? it doesn’t make sense.
old hippie, sometimes i get so angry that i fantasie about death. it’s a dark and horribly amused anger and it scares me. it wells inside me and i revel in it. help me remove this from myself.
We are amused and entertained by the deaths we see portrayed on TV and the media, as it touches our fears, yet doesn’t quench them. Our society refuses to acknowledge the importance of death, instead we hide REAL death from view. Instead they give us numbers. Or show us dramatizations, leaving out the cruel reality.
Death is like shit. It stinks, nobody likes looking at it, yet we all must experience it. Instead we’d rather just flush it from our memory than face the truth. You can embrace death’s cold hand by realizing that it’s just another part of life, and that it is just a transition to another state. Fear death not, for its truth shall set you free. And you needn’t die to recognize the truth. Just let go of your fears. It’s the fear itself that keeps us living like paranoid zombies. Afraid to take risks and experience all that life has to offer. Afraid to change things too much, less we suffer harm.
i am considering changing my name. help???
If you want to change your name, check out the list of hippie names on Hippy.com
how much does big brother watch us?
Big Brother watches everything, remembers everything. On the Internet anyway. In our cities now too, there are cameras everywhere. This is great for fighting crime. But today’s freedoms are tomorrow’s crimes. So those who say only the criminals need to worry, don’t realize that tomorrow they will be considered criminals if they don’t do exactly as they are told. New laws restricting freedom are being passed everyday. In another couple of years, I might not even be able to answer all these questions the way I do today, without committing a crime. And then they’ll have no trouble finding me and putting me away, without due process, which is almost history already. Things are changing so fast, nobody can keep up with what is being lost!
i was brought up a catholic. i have a christain fundamentalist friend. he tells me god is coming, that i’m going to hell. i don’t want to burn. i become scared.
Religion is the opiate of the masses. Fundamentalism is for retards. The Catholic and Christian churches bear no relation to the life of Christ. They are hypocritical institutions that are covers for child abuse, ripping off the poor and feeble, and stealing the land and hopes of millions. They are anachronisms whose time has come for the truth to be revealed. Best to deprogram yourself from these heinous cults. But don’t try to convince others (a waste of time). Let them find out for themselves.
i need to know about dope.
i need to know about control.
i need to know aout free love and in-love.
Dope – the biggest one I know is sitting in the White House planning a war.
Control – Those who would control others need head transplants.
Free Love – This concept has been passed down for generations and millennia. It surfaces every so often to remind people that LOVE is what’s important. With love we can save the world! It’s been perverted by those who think it only means sex. It means freedom to do as you please. To love not just those you’re taught to love, but EVERYONE. It is the most revolutionary meme ever created. If we love everyone, we cannot hate, we cannot make war, we cannot be controlled.
We should be, we must be, we shall be free!
old hippie, i become jealous too easily. so much so that the smallest thing can cause me to vomit. it is oppurtunities, not possessions which drive me to this. how do i counteract this madness?
If you experience jealousy that others get to do things that you don’t, this will pass. When you turn 18 then 21 and get to do what others do, you’ll realize that it’s no big deal. What you are really getting upset over is the lack of freedom. When you have more, and you explore your new found freedom, it will at first be a joy, but then as the responsibilities that go along with those freedoms kick in, you’ll see that it can be a drag and not as pleasurable as you imagined. So enjoy your freedom from responsibility while it lasts!
i want to know what’s happening in america. no bias, just the facts. is it about oil?
Yes it’s about oil, about energy, about big business, about capitalism, about exploitation, about selfishness, about lack of concern for others and the environment, about propaganda, about power, about greed, about money, about undue influence, about the military/industrial complex, about lies and coverups, about secrets, about dirty deeds, about the FBI, CIA, NSA, about the death of democracy, about the rise of fascism, about the ignorance of an entire country about the truth.
i use my mother and don’t respect her.
i am lonely.
i need to dance more.
i want a tight group of five to eight friends that are my group, but it’s tricky.
i just moved to a new school see.
i really want to sing dance and act
i was told to be smart and get a profession behind me first i say who needs money, but i know that i do somtimes i just want to leave the world to fight on its own – when i do leave it for even a few seconds i feel like a weight has been taken off my shoulders.
i’ve always wanted to sing
i’ve always wanted to be famous, and to be able to fly
i wear bright colours,
i have a whimsey-hat,
i am 16,
i live in australia,
i am jessica…
…and i need your help.
lots of love: the future.
Dance and sing your song, and if it comes from your heart, people will listen and your message will be received. If it gives you pleasure, then that is the only justification you need. The world needs those who sing of love more than ever! So dance and sing for a better world.
May you find the peace you need,
The Old Hippy
Posted by: skip
My college placed a huge sign in the common areas saying Cunt to publicize a book with the premise that if you say the word enough it will loses its power and no longer be derogatory. Obviously I support freedom of expression but I believe this word communicates hatred and minimization of women. What is the right response? What would a hippy do? Thanks dude.
I would have to agree with your college. It’s exactly what we’ve been trying to do with the word hippie. You just need to expose people to positive associations with the word, and suddenly it starts to mean something else. Originally the word hippie meant people who looked and acted and thought differently from the mainstream but were very interesting and hip.
Then the more conservative elements in society villified the word with negative associations like drug abuse, dirty people, etc. Likewise, cunt was just a word for a body part. Again conservatives (& chauvinists) looked askew at this and decided there was nothing good about that word (implying there was nothing good about that body part!), and thus it came to be used in a derogatory fashion.
Sexual liberation and Women’s Liberation happened decades ago! People need to wake up! I say it’s time to liberate the words cunt & hippie so they regain their original meanings and not let conservatives dictate how we view the world. It’s their view that is perverted!
The Old Hippy
Posted by: skip
Hi old hippy im 17 and suffer from what i believe is manic depression. I have deep, prolonged depression that can last for months on end with only weeks or days to break the monotony.
I refuse to seek any psychiatric or medicinal help because of the reason i feel that i suffer from this. My belief is that it stems directly from this life that we are forced to live. I feel that my life is controled by forces i have no control over.
Our government that denies all their individual freedoms as a human, and then has the gull to claim that we are the land of the free. this way of life has created a superficial society that has no idea(nor does it have any interest) in how limited our possible life paths are, due to this and all governments. Safety has become something our nation is willing to trade anything for, and there is so many that feel this way. There is nothing i can do to change any of their minds.
I feel Ignorance is bliss should be our nations moto and it makes me physically ill. I wish i could make everyone open their eyes and see this, they are so convinced that their is no better way to live than with our government, that no one has put the time or effort into creating a new lifestyle, or at least improving (significantly) on the one we have. and i believe its rather comical that we as a nation destroyed what possibly was the most perfect way of life in our earths history.
What was better than how the indians lived, granted they had some basic forms of govt., but i would consider it more as a leadership role than anything. Traveling a beautiful land in a groups consisting of family and friends, living off the land with a devine love for its beauty and appreciation of its gifts to man. they danced, acted, smoked pot, played music, told stories, and were generally peaceful. i think about what it was like and can’t imagine any way to improve on it. instead look around u this life we live is hell, morrison was right, life is the bad part, when you die that all goes away. these thoughts in my head circulate daily and have prevented me from conecting with others, i havnt had a girlfriend in years and all my friendships seem rather superficial.
I’m sorry for having rambled alot but i have trouble expressing the ideas in my head. i really want to know if in your experiences you’ve met anyone with my similar problem/blessing or if you could just give me any advice at all.
I can relate to exactly what you feel. I’ve had the same feelings and doubts about the American way of life for quite sometime (like 30 years). And yes it can be very depressing. However obsessing over this is not healthy.
Manic depression is a clinical diagnosis of a very specific disease. I would hesitate to self-diagnose this unless you’ve consulted medical journals and know exactly what you’re talking about. You don’t mention anything that indicates you get manic, and believe me, if you did, you would know (and so would everyone around you!). Perhaps you just left that out. Do you also go into rages, and talk incessantly about these subjects (regardless of whether anyone is listening)? If so, then you may qualify for the label manic-depressive.
You can break your depression by breaking the monotony in your life. There are many ways to do this. Exercise, travel, new friends, nature all help restore your perspective and add positive experiences to your life. Getting a breath of fresh air is always good. You could even move to another place which can help too. Sometimes there’s environmental factors that make us ill. I discovered that allergies were making me sick and depressing me too. Now I take a pill when I need to, and I don’t have that problem anymore.
I’m finding many hippies are getting very angry and depressed at the state of affairs with the US and the world in general. We are facing imminent ecological, economic and social disasters just by keeping things as they are. But with the threat of war and terrorism and fear mongering, the situation threatens to spiral out of control even before these other disasters come crashing down on us. There is much to worry about.
But lately I’ve come to the realization that all these things will soon become visible and obvious to everyone. Thirty years ago, many wise ones warned us about what was coming, and urged us to change. We didn’t heed the warnings, and now we must pay the price of progress. I believe that by the time I’m in my late sixties (say 15-20 years hence), people will once again be roaming the American countryside in search of food. But it won’t be buffalo they’ll be hunting. Oh, no. Sorry, but I won’t go there right now. There’ll be plenty of time to think about how badly we fucked things up, after the shit hits the fan.
In the meantime, we hippies must rediscover the ways of native americans and those cultures that knew how to live off the land. Time is running out to prepare. Get ready.
Posted by: skip
I am not a hippie kid, no, I am a middleaged hippie chick who happened upon your site by accident (or an act of the universe).
Hippie I spent the last 18 years as a drafted (widowed) single mother. Now its my turn. Selling the house in the suburbs and heading for the life I always wanted. Problem is, I met a guy online 9 mos ago. He is a hippie and wants to share my new life with me. We will be meeting soon but except the for the thrill of romance, I worry about how compatible we actually are.
Part of me is tickled at the prospect of a new relationship with a fellow hippie at this stage of my life, but a part of me yearns to be free, you know? To do what I want when I want to, finally, after all these years. No settling into domestic bliss, no one to answer to, no limitations. In my logical view, it seems that being alone until I am sure I want to share my life, makes sense, but this guy says he wants all or nothing and NOW.
Help me hippy!
You say you haven’t even met this guy yet? And he says he wants all or nothing? Somethings not right here. Sorry to be so blunt. But someone’s living in a fantasy world. I suppose you can get to know about someone over the Internet, but I would be very hesitant to want to commit myself to someone I NEVER EVEN MET in person. I suppose there’s always a chance it will be love at first site (pun intended). But let’s get real here. Even if you’d been going out on dates for 9 months and someone lays a trip on you that you must be theirs or nothing, isn’t that rather demanding? Is that some kind of weird marriage proposal? If so, it would seem to be at odds with hippie philosophy, which emphasizes personal freedom.
Again, something seems wrong here. And I think you should proceed with that in mind. Take it one step at a time, and don’t commit yourself. In fact, I’d discuss your feelings with him more. Take careful note of his reactions. You don’t say how you feel about him at all, so I suspect your feelings aren’t as obsessive as his. If he’s still of a mind that it’s all or nothing, then that is extremely unfair to you and rather inconsiderate. And my guess is you can expect a lot more of that in your relationship.
I really think meeting him in person might not be a good idea until you’ve sorted out the expectations involved in the meeting. If you’re going to meet this person, do it in a public place, so if you don’t want to go, you won’t have a problem saying no.
Compatibility is not something you can discover via the Internet. It could easily take you months living together to know if you have what it takes to make the relationship work. His demands make no sense, and I am suspicious. You should be too.
If this is the moment of freedom that you have been looking forward to for years, then THAT is what you need to experience. Don’t let some dude you don’t really know, snag you on the rebound. Go for that freedom and discover your real self again. If you’re meant to be with this guy, he’ll be waiting for you. If not there will be many other great guys waiting to meet you (in person!), who perhaps are more considerate of your needs.
Good luck, I hope you find what you’re seeking,
-The Old Hippy
Posted by: skip
Dear Old Hippy,
I met my boyfriend in Costa Rica on a tropical biology course, and we have
been dating long-distance for five months. We are both totally crazy about
each other, and in fact when I was visiting him last week, he asked me to
marry him! I said yes, and I am very excited about spending our lives
My concern is that he smokes pot every day (a couple hits from a bong),
though he has only smoked once while we’ve been together (visiting/ in the
same place, that is). He is 35 and has smoked every day for about 5 years,
and regularly for maybe 10 years before that. Does this mean that he is
addicted to pot? I mean mentally/emotionally addicted, since pot is not
chemically or physiologically addictive. I am not opposed to marijuana
(though I have only tried twice myself), but every day seems a bit excessive
to me. I fear that it is a sign of his needing to escape or cope with
something bigger, rather than fun, recreational use. Do you have any
thoughts on this? Do you think I should be so concerned about it as not to
marry him? Would it be ‘fair’ to ask him not to smoke for my sake? How can
I figure out if it’s okay with me if he smokes that much before I marry him?
I would greatly appreciate any input you can give!
Why do you think taking a couple of hits from a bong is any different than drinking one beer every day? In fact it’s probably healthier. People need to unwind someway. Why do you think it’s a bad thing? Other than the legal risks (which vary from locality to locality), and the minimal health risk (2 hits is really nothing), why do you assume there’s a psychological dependence? You say he’s only smoked once in your presence, so I don’t think that could in anyway be considered excessive or indicative of a psychological dependency.
The reasons I smoke (only in the evenings, anywhere from 2-8 hits) is
because it helps me take my mind off work (otherwise I’d never stop thinking
about it), as it let’s me disengage from anything that would normally obsess
me. It does tend to numb me to a certain degree, but it also lets my mind
wander so that I become more creative, more receptive and more
appreciative of music, art and the company of others.
And then there’s sex! Marijuana is one of the best and most effective
aphrodesiacs known to man. If your boyfriend wants to smoke before sex, I
would encourage you to encourage him. You’ll certainly notice the
difference in his performance and sensitivity to you.
And then when it comes time for sleep, I will sleep very soundly, rarely
waking at all. I feel refreshed in the morning, if a little fuzzy, but that
wears off in a hour or so after a cup of coffee (and isn’t that normal
So I’m still trying to figure out what the downside is here. Help me out…
The only problem I see here is your own preconceptions and prejudice about
-The Old Hippy
Posted by: skip
Hi Old Hippy!
I would like to ask you what do you think about parents (and society, in
general) forcing children or teenagers to submit to their religion?
I was raised in a catholic country (Portugal) and attended a catholic
school and I hated it! I don’t understand how people can be raised and
basicly forced to have a certain religion if they aren’t even old enough to
know what religion or spirituality is.
I think everyone should have the
right to choose their own religion whenever they feel like it! I think
religion (at least *some* religions) and spirituality contribute a lot to
our well-being and help us open your minds and deal with life better, but why do people on this planet constantly force others to share the same
religion as them? I mean, I know it’s part of the country’s own culture,
but is it really necessary? I wouldn’t mind living in a society where every
person has a different religion and is equally treated and respected!
Children are very easy to influence. I myself wasn’t, thank God!!! Can you
imagine, if I had been influenced easily by my parents and the community in
general, I’d probably be a strict narrow-minded catholic asshole instead of
the liberal open-minded person that I am! I will never force my kids to
have a certain religion or follow a certain spiritual path, I think that’s
gross and totally unfair, I can’t believe there’s millions (or probably
billions) of people that do that. What a weird planet!
Anyways, what do you think about this? 😉 I would appreciate having your
point of view on this.
Yeah it really sucks how religion is forced down our souls from the moment
we’re born in some cases! And the things done to us in the name of religion
(circumcision for one, forced sex with priests is another)are crimes against children. And yet it continues.
Freedom of religion. Yeah as an adult you can FREELY choose your religion,
but as a child you have no choice (oh, but wait… didn’t you choose your
parents?). So you see there’s another way of looking at it that implies
that you choose the circumstances of your life before you’re born, so that
you can have these experiences and learn from them.
So now you are a more enlightened person for having learned how religion is
abused and used as a form of mind control by society. Most people never
reach that point of awareness because they’re so wrapped up in the illusion
that their organized religion has created.
As a cultural meme, religion is used to communicate important information
that has survival value to its members. It helps keep people together and
gives them a pretext for helping each other in times of need. It comes down
from our clan/tribal roots, but religion really fucked up when it became
institutionalized. Too much power in the hands of a few.
And now religion is being used as a pretext for rallying people for a new
World War. As has been done before. These people never learn their
lessons, and thus repeat them over and over, lifetime after lifetime.
-The Old Hippy
Posted by: skip
I’ve been seeing a guy for about 8 months now and things are going really good, however, we both have been thru failed marriages and been hurt and we’re both scared to fall in love again and take the chance of being hurt again. It’s been 2 yrs now since my divorce and i feel like i might be ready to let myself love again, but his hurt is more recent (less than a yr) and he changes his mind from day today. One day he says he loves me and wants me to move in and share his life, and the next day he says he’s scared to love again. It’s certainly understandable that he’s confused right now–but that kinda leaves me in limbo–what do i do? I can’t let myself love him just to be hurt again either. Any advice?
Loving another always involves some risk. Risk of rejection, risk of ridicule, risk of losing that love you hold so dear. We all want love, but most of us are hesitant to commit ourselves due to such fears.
Those who have loved and lost, feel the pain most acutely. Over time, the pain subsides and one can get back to life again. The next time an opportunity to love comes around, that person is likely to be more hesitant to get involved. This is precisely your predicament.
You’ve noticed that after two years you feel more able to open yourself again. While your boyfriend hasn’t had enough time and mental distance yet to be so open.
I think you two can come together and learn to love again. It will require a positive attitude, perhaps one where you are aware of the mistakes that you made in your last marriages, and strive to make this relationship even better.
But that kind of thing can bring too much pressure into this relationship at this point. In fact that is the basic problem here. The pressure of having failed once, and the likelyhood it might happen again. So the solution requires a complete release from expectations.
After 8 months you two should be able to discuss this frankly, and agree upon a new basis for your relationship where there are no expectations. It’s precisely these kind of expectations that doom many relationships and marriages. After all what is marriage but a codified series of expectations.
Don’t let yourselves be tempted to commit to anything, like living together, until you both feel it is right. Remove this kind of pressure, and perhaps you’ll both be more free to be yourselves. Certainly you’ll be less defensive and more willing to go with the flow of the relationship.
In other words, my advice is to go slow, go with the flow, and don’t lay expectations on each other. When the time is right to get to the next phase in your relationship, you’ll both know it.
Good luck & good lovin’!
The Old Hippy
Posted by: skip
I am a 25 year old woman, married, and very much in love with my husband of four years. Our only problem is our sex life. My husband smokes a lot of weed (several times a day) and we’re not making love because he is never really up to it. I think that the weed is the reason why he has little interest in sex, I seem to remember having read that marijuana can affect the libido, but I’m not sure. There is lots of loving, kisses and hugs in our marriage, so it’s not love that we’re lacking, just sex, but it really affects me and my selfconfidence.
I have no problems with weed, I smoke (but not as much as him, maybe once or twice a week) and I grew up in Denmark where marijuana isn’t looked upon as something bad, my father growes his own and has, ever since I was a kid, so it’s not that I’m condemning his use, just that I feel a little put aside… Could marijuana be the problem, and if so, how should I deal with it?
Marijuana is actually one of the most powerful and effective aphrodisiacs know to man. However, used in excess it can cause problems such as you describe. The reason is not so much the cannabis itself, but the sedentary lifestyle that excessive use engenders. By becoming a couch potato, not getting enough exercise, the body loses its health and stamina gradually. I say this can be an effect of excessive use, because a lack of motivation to get up and out and do things is typical when under the influence.
So all your husband needs to do is take a nice long break from smoking, get outdoors (summer’s almost here!), get exercise, and then he should be coming back to you again. He should not let his cannabis use overwhelm his zest for life and loving. Less is more. Less smoke = more enjoyment. Plus it keeps your tolerance down, you smoke less, save money, save your lungs, save your health, save your marriage!
Other things you can do: Break your routines, take trips to other places, make new friends, etc. Variety is the spice of life and makes people more excited about living. These are some of the things some people sacrifice when they abuse marijuana. And really it’s that fine line between use and abuse that causes problems. Or can be used to hide other problems.
Now if he does all this, and still isn’t romantically inclined, then he has another problem, unrelated to marijuana.
The Old Hippy
Posted by: skip
hey mr. hippy dude,
whats happening. i have a question for you. how do you feel about the music scene thats going on right now?? the hippy scene seems to be getting bigger and more accessible lately. im not saying that in a bad way or a quote unquote selling out way, but it seems to be becoming huge again. for instance ..this summer we have boneroo which is huge, the gathering of the vibes, the grateful dead reunion and whatnot. it seems to be one of the biggest summers for our music in a long time.. could this be a small taste of whats to come.
i definitely see more and more jam bands becoming huge and alot of bands and artist playing together more and more. and many artists from various musical styles intertwining. could we be entering a new phase of musical creativity?? similar to the scene that was going on in the 60’s?? everyone seems to be coming together and with everything that happening in the world right now, it would be a great time for it.&n! bsp; what are your thoughts???
id love to hear you opinion.. thank you- sean jersey hippy
That sounds wonderful! I hope you’re right that it’s a signal of things to come. I have some reservations however. First all these big festivals have one thing in common, beside the music, a LOT of commercialism. That wasn’t the case back in the 60s. Oh sure there was some, but with the last Woodstock fiasco, it seems the people putting on these events are more into the money than the vibe. In addition the people coming to these events aren’t always coming with a peace & love vibe.
I’ve found these mega events to be a mega pain. I don’t do them anymore. Even smaller concerts indoors are so much of a bother, I rarely go unless the venue and artists are truly worth the shit you have to put up with to attend these things. Of course this is because I’m old and jaded. It’s just not as exciting anymore as it was when I was a kid and it was a novelty.
For the younger generation of hippies (esp. wannabees), it’s very exciting and a great change from their suburban middle-class lifestyle. So I encourage them to go, because it’s the perfect way to realize you’re not alone in being different, and you can discover the solidarity and power of the younger generation, and learn from those of the older generations who attend these events.
Plus the music is always a good experience, if it doesn’t get drowned out by the commercialism of the event itself.
It’s great for young people to learn there are alternative forms of musical entertainment besides rap, heavy metal, and boy bands. And the whole experience of these mega events is much more than you get going to a regular concert. In addition alternative lifestyles are displayed including that of the kynd people who travel around with these groups like the deadheads. Yes you CAN live outside the corporate American program, and thrive!
Of course exposing young first timers to sex, drugs, and the whole scene is fraught with risks if they are too naive. If they don’t get ripped off, they might overdose, or sexually preyed upon. My advice to first timers is to attend these events with a group of friends, and stick together. Watch out for each other.
I’m sure most people have the time of their lives, but for some it can be a very unexpected learning experience. It’s just that these things are not like the original Woodstock, when the peace & love vibe was so overwhelming, that the danger was minimal, even given the conditions. The world has changed.
For a real taste of what Woodstock was like, I recommend the Rainbow Gatherings. These are completely without the commercialism and hype that accompany the major music festivals. There’s much more to be learned about communal living, social responsibility, and living in harmony with your surroundings than any of these other gatherings can teach.
Another alternative is the Burning Man, which likewise is free from commercialism (but it sure is getting big). This is a place for those who are creative and need to express themselves in ways that society would frown upon. If I had the time, I would check it out myself, although hanging out in a dry lake bed in Nevada isn’t my cup of tea.
But getting back to your original question, I think the increase in the number of these events and their attendance is a sign that more people are rejecting the corporate media, and prevailing lifestyles and conformity, and opting for alternative entertainment. As long as they keep these events from just being another huge commercial ripoff they can spread the healing vibe to a new generation! And yes that is something we need desperately. I just hope it’s not too late…
The Old Hippy
Posted by: skip
Hey, can you help me with a marijuana spoilage problem? I usually put little chunks of orange peel in with my weed to keep it moist. I had a 50 bag that I wanted to save for the next week, so I put more orange peel than usual and didn’t touch the bag for over a week. Now some of the buds (especially ones that touched the peels) have white fuzzy…mold? Is it safe to smoke it? (I heard some horrible stories about people who smoked moldy weed and got weird
growths in their lungs.) Can I kill the mold (put the stash in the freezer
for awhile maybe) and then still smoke the weed? I would so hate to throw away a whole 50 bag of the BEST pot, that I managed to SAVE…thanks so much.
I never suggest people put anything in with their marijuana. It’s just asking for trouble. And orange peels are usually coated with numerous chemicals to retard spoilage. Perhaps the peel you put in was organic, since it obviously didn’t have the usual antifungal chemicals they usually spray on such fruit. So it seems you put in a moist piece of organic fruit. Still not a good idea.
The best way to store cannabis is in dark container, preferrably glass, vacuum packed. Then store it in the fridge so it will last longer.
As far as smoking your pot, I’d remove the moldy parts very carefully. Then dry out the pot by leaving it exposed to the air in a warm dry place for a couple of days. Then follow my storage instructions above. Hopefully the mold won’t spread any further.
You can smoke moldy pot, but it tastes like shit. I doubt you’ll get any other side effects, but there’s no guarantee. Burning the mold will destroy the spores, which aren’t likely to like your lungs anyway. But you could have an allergy. Again you never know. So minimize the risk and only smoke the unmoldy pot.
And consider this a lesson…
The Old Hippy
The Old Hippy does not advocate breaking any laws. Know the law where you live!
Posted by: skip