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Can marijuana damage a good relationship?

Hi there

I’ve slowed my weed smoking way down, so I’m only smoking several times a
year now – in a large part, because I think it’s beginning to really mess
with my head whenever I smoke.

I have a wonderful girlfriend who I adore. We have a really great time
together, been together almost four years, planning to be together a lot
longer. We generally have a great relationship.

Every single time I’ve gotten high over the past several years (which is
maybe five times), our relationship gets bad for several weeks afterward. I
stop being in to her, forget why I love her, fail to see the wonderful
things about her. Then, after several weeks, things come back together, and
we’re in love again.

Since these bad feelings seem to come on just when I smoke (or after), I’m
starting to conclude that smoking weed is too disruptive to my life. A four
hour high just isn’t worth three weeks of feeling frustrated and helpless
with where my life is.

Other consciousness altering activities don’t cause me problems. Mushrooms
seem fine. Yoga and meditation bring me closer to my girl and make me feel
good and hopeful about where my life is.

Any thoughts on this? Is the problem the weed?, the girl?, me?



Something doesn’t make sense here. Smoking cannabis doesn’t usually lead to relationship problems, unless the smoking itself is an issue in the relationship. You don’t mention whether your girlfriend approves of your use of cannabis, or whether she gets high along with you.

The only physiological effect of smoking once in awhile, that lasts more than a day, is that THC does remain in your system for weeks, at ever decreasing levels. That THC should affect your mental state and relationship over that long a period is very unlikely.

What THC does do, quite well in fact, is change your perspective on things. And let’s say that before you were in this relationship you were smoking quite a bit on your own (you sorta imply that). Let’s go one step further and suggest that when you were doing all this smoking you were free and not committed to any relationship. So what could be happening in this scenario is that you are now involved in a relationship that requires you to constantly be aware and concerned about another person. Something you didn’t have to do before, especially when you were getting high more frequently. Now when you smoke, you miss that freedom from responsibility, and regret that you must now live for another person, not just yourself.

You don’t mention how old you are, but my guess is late teens to early 20s. This can be a factor, as I’ve noticed that some people who start smoking weed when they’re young (like 13 or so) don’t mature socially as fast as those who are straight. That is, they avoid those situations that require more responsibility, especially to others, with one cop out or another. It’s just a postponement of the inevitable, and can actually be a handicap in new relationships, because the usual dating scene was bypassed in favor of a hangout with the guys and get stoned scene.

I’m assuming an awful lot here, and really don’t know if this applies in your case. But it could.

The solution for you is to come to terms with your own reactions. Why do you let getting high interfere with what is apparently a good relationship? If you feel like you really don’t want to be involved with this person when under the influence, why? Is it because she makes what seems like unreasonable demands upon you? Because what might seem unreasonable while stoned, can seem perfectly reasonable when straight. When you’re stoned, you probably don’t want to do much but hang out. She on the other hand probably has lots of plans for you two. That would be a problem.

The other less likely scenario is that you really don’t want to be in this relationship, for some repressed reason, and getting stoned makes this feeling much stronger. But I doubt this because when you’re straight you’re able to see things more clearly, than when you’re stoned, and if you’re into yoga and meditation, then that should empower you with all the insight you need.

So my advice is, if you’re going to get stoned, make sure it’s a mutual activity, and plan some stoney activity for both of you to enjoy together, like a walk in the woods, or a concert or something you can both enjoy. If she’s not as eager as you to do this, then you might have to decide whether it’s even worth it to get stoned occasionally if it takes this kind of toll on your most important relationship.

-The Old Hippy

Posted by: skip
Views: 71323

What to do with Moldy Marijuana

Hey, can you help me with a marijuana spoilage problem? I usually put little chunks of orange peel in with my weed to keep it moist. I had a 50 bag that I wanted to save for the next week, so I put more orange peel than usual and didn’t touch the bag for over a week. Now some of the buds (especially ones that touched the peels) have white fuzzy…mold? Is it safe to smoke it? (I heard some horrible stories about people who smoked moldy weed and got weird
growths in their lungs.) Can I kill the mold (put the stash in the freezer
for awhile maybe) and then still smoke the weed? I would so hate to throw away a whole 50 bag of the BEST pot, that I managed to SAVE…thanks so much.

I never suggest people put anything in with their marijuana. It’s just asking for trouble. And orange peels are usually coated with numerous chemicals to retard spoilage. Perhaps the peel you put in was organic, since it obviously didn’t have the usual antifungal chemicals they usually spray on such fruit. So it seems you put in a moist piece of organic fruit. Still not a good idea.

The best way to store cannabis is in dark container, preferrably glass, vacuum packed. Then store it in the fridge so it will last longer.

As far as smoking your pot, I’d remove the moldy parts very carefully. Then dry out the pot by leaving it exposed to the air in a warm dry place for a couple of days. Then follow my storage instructions above. Hopefully the mold won’t spread any further.

You can smoke moldy pot, but it tastes like shit. I doubt you’ll get any other side effects, but there’s no guarantee. Burning the mold will destroy the spores, which aren’t likely to like your lungs anyway. But you could have an allergy. Again you never know. So minimize the risk and only smoke the unmoldy pot.

And consider this a lesson…

The Old Hippy

The Old Hippy does not advocate breaking any laws. Know the law where you live!

Posted by: skip
Views: 187400


LSD, Marijuana and Chocolate… Addictive?

Dear old hippy,
Two things, is LSD or marijuana very addictive, and how old are you?

LSD is not addictive in any way. Marijuana is as addictive as chocolate. That means you might consume some if offered, or you might not. Probably depends on your mood and other factors, like how good it looks, but certainly not on a dependence.

-The Old Hippy,

Posted by: skip
Views: 32878

Marijuana and PCP

Dear old Hippy,

I feel Marijuana is my spiritual food. I discovered Marijuana’s spiritual benefits in 1994 at age 22. It opened my mind up to deep ideas about the world, God, and love of the earth and humankind. All these ideas flowed with euphoria, as I grooved to great music, which MJ enhanced much greater! A couple of years ago I began to study books on different kind of drugs (their chemistry, effects, ect.). After studying PCP, I found that it can be laced into Marijuana, and this frightened me. Continuing to smoke MJ, I was able to control this fear thinking it was a one in a million chance it could happen to me (that my MJ would be laced with PCP).

About a year ago my fear worsened when my friend (who smokes quite often), told me he smoked a joint one night which dissociated him from his body and he saw angels, demons, and other terrifying things. even though he was told Be careful with this joint, when it was given to him, he smoked it with his friend anyway.

Lately, I have been afraid to try Marijuana thinking this may happen to me. Over the past few months I have tried meditation, and just positive thinking to try and stop this compulsive fear, yet it continues. I long to smoke again because I feel a strong spiritual need for it. If I did smoke a joint with a friend, and it was laced with PCP, after taking a hit or two (if it were laced) would I notice the difference, so I could stop smoking it right away? Would a few hits of a laced joint be enough to trigger a strong pcp trip where I would be dissociated, hallucinate, etc…? Is there a way I can continue to smoke grass (which is always black market obtained) and feel comfortable that I can detect PCP before I take to many hits.

Please help me
with any other advice you can give. This is a strong fear of mine. I have been using hypnosis to try and find the source of this deep fear, it compares to death were I am removed from my surroundings and my body (very scary). Yet, I can’t go on allowing this to rob me of  something that I feel is part of my religion (Marijuana). This may seem like a stupid question and it’s embarrassing to me, nevertheless, I feel compelled (after about 1 year of worrying over this) to finally get some advice.

With Peace,

You do have a problem, Billy. Your paranoia probably stems from the deep lying
guilt you have at breaking the law. This paranoia is completely irrational.
I have heard many reports of PCP laced marijuana, but I doubt this is a frequent occurence.
I’ve never encountered any. Few people would bother to lace a joint with PCP.
PCP is usually snorted like cocaine. How many people put cocaine in a joint??? It’s a waste. The
only thing usually mixed in a joint is tobacco and that usually happens in

What I don’t understand is if you’re so concerned why don’t you just roll
your own joints! If someone gives you one and you’re suspicious, you can
just tear it open, look at it and roll it up in a new paper. Is that so
hard? If you don’t know what to look for, PCP is a white powder. It would
fall away from the cannabis. Of course really good cannabis does have white
resin on it, but careful examination would reveal that this is sticky stuff
not powder.

PCP does take a little while to come on, so if you did smoke some you might
not know it before you finish the joint. PCP is a very potent drug. It has
been used as animal tranquilizer (like for horses and elephants – the big
ones). So very little can get you very high. I suppose that street dealers
might think about cutting some inferior grass with some PCP to make it do
something. I don’t recommend you buy any drugs from unknown street dealers.
That is a hard and fast rule we all learned back in the early 70s.

Another way for you to avoid this problem is smoke something that’s been
smoked before. What I mean is if a friend has some grass they’ve already
tried and it’s ok, what’s wrong with trying it yourself? In theory, nobody
would ever sell you something dangerous. In the case you mentioned the
person was warned. If someone warned me I’d want to know why. What is
different about this joint. If it’s just really strong stuff, I’d be real
happy to smoke it. If it’s been adulterated, I’d want to know with what,
and I’d probably avoid it.

This reminds me of the old Paraquat scare back in the 70’s. Rumors went
around that the marijuana coming from Mexico was sprayed with paraquat, a
defoliant made from dioxins which are linked to cancer. Everyone got so
paranoid about it, people actually stopped smoking. This coincided with the
health craze. Of course it was just the foes of decriminilization that
spread these rumors and then succeeded in getting marijuana laws tightened
again. If you just think about it, if the pot had been sprayed, it
certainly would have looked different, smelled different, and likely
wouldn’t have been harvested in the first place since it would have been

Another sure fire way to know what you’re smoking is to make friends with
someone who grows the stuff. Then you know what you’re getting. Many
people grow their own, too. Of course we don’t recommend you break the law
wherever you live. You really need to confront your fear as that is the
mind killer. If we live in fear we really aren’t living!

Good luck!
The Old Hippy

Posted by: skip
Views: 56990

What in the World Ever Became of Sweet Jane?

hi old hippy,
I’ve been smoking pot for roughly 5 yrs..I’ve always done extremely well in
school and am graduating at the top of my class this summer. however i feel
extremely stupid and i constantly question my artwork, my thoughts and
anything else about myself now whenever i smoke. i suddenly feel pressure from
the people im around, even my closest friends! pot used to be something i
enjoyed, something that made me feel fun and uninhibited and i could laugh or
say anything i wanted without giving any thought to it. i just would like to
know if there’s a way to rediscover my free feeling self…i feel as though i
pressure myself and worry to much….maybe a mental exercise?? please any
help would be wonderful
thank you

What in the world ever became of sweet Jane? She lost her sparkle, you know she isn’t the same… – The Grateful Dead.

What you’re finding out is that marijuana isn’t always a help in every situation. Loss of confidence, motivation and enjoyment often comes with excessive use. When you have work to do, or you’re under pressure (real or imagined), or you must deal with straight people or really don’t have the time or space to just totally relax into the high, it can easily turn into a downer.

Pot can bring out a lot of things that are below the surface. Doubts, insecurities, paranoia, etc. can be exacerbated while high. In the last five years, you’ve probably taken on more responsibility, while people now expect more from you as an adult. Pot can hinder your personal growth by keeping you from dealing with the real issues in your life. People change. It’s a sign of growth. What you must do now is find a new relationship with cannabis, or even consider stopping for awhile or indefinitely or just use it on special occasions.

Many of us old hippies cut back drastically or stopped completely for awhile. I pretty much did for 10 years. But then I came back again because I needed to become LESS STRESSED, and decided to change my lifestyle to one that wouldn’t kill me in a few more years. And guess what? It worked!

In any case you should find out what works for you. When it can be used therapuetically or recreationally when it won’t interfere with your other responsibilities. Pot won’t ever solve your personal problems, and can actually make them worse if abused. So use with care.

Peace and Pot,
The Old Hippy

Posted by: skip
Views: 23558

Burned Out on Pot

Dear old hippy,
I have smoked weed for about three years. At first it was great but for the past year or so it hasn’t been very pleasant. Everything gets distorted and I’m so nervous I can hardly talk and I get weird beats in my heart area that almost make me twitch. I would really appreciate your help on this. It got so bad I stopped smoking all together.
Thank you

It’s not unusual for smoking to become unpleasant at times. It’s a burnout syndrome which occurs after prolonged use. You’ve done the right thing by stopping. I recommend you lay off for at least a month or more. Perhaps you’re under more pressure than you used to be. Job and other responsibilities can make getting high less enjoyable and smoking adds to your stress rather than relieving it (thanks to paranoia and guilt).

If stress is a major factor in you life then you need to deal with it, rather than try to mask it with mj or alcohol (I’m not saying you do it, just that it’s not a good thing). As far as your overall health goes, perhaps it’s time for a checkup. As we age we go through physical changes, and smoking certainly isn’t good for our health. Some people are more sensitive to smoke and you might be one.

In any case it’s always good to give ourselves a breather from smoke and let our body recuperate. It’s nice to get another view of life now and then (remember – that’s why we smoke in the first place!). Respect the herb, and respect yourself and everything will work out.

The Old Hippy.

Posted by: skip
Views: 77036

Where Is Marijuana Legal?

hey what’s up old hippie,
first I’d like to say thanx for existing. I don’t like to break the law so I don’t smoke pot anymore or any other illegal subtances (actually i’ve never used another illegal substance) . Besides, pot is impossible to find , if you try all you find is crack. and other nasty nasty disgusting stuff. That’s urban life in 1999 no weed to be found anywhere, and abundant crack and alcohol on every corner.

People are violent around here, and is increasingly becoming a police state. If you go out dressed like a hippie, your in big trouble.
Street thugs will harass you, and police will openly violate all you rite in the daylight and in front of hundreds just because of the way you look..

This environment is not very friendly to me and i don’t like it back, so i saved a couple of thousand dollars and am enbarking on a nice long search for a hospitable environment where I can smoke a joint in PEACE.

I was wondering were besides the Netherlands (everyone knows about amsterdam) is Marijuana legal? Oh yeah and were are their friendly people, are there any left in this world?

Young Mr Nobody amongst the masses

There are NO places left where it is legal to smoke, thanks to AmeriKKKa’s
insane Drug War and International laws and condemnations. It is even illegal in Holland, but tolerated there.

That’s the key, where is it tolerated (where you won’t get busted)? The
answer is many places! There are places in Australia, India, Nepal,
Afghanistan, Morocco, etc. In the U.S. I understand California is very laid
back about it, especially SF, and places north (the Emerald Triangle, where
they grow most of America’s best sinsemilla). I’m told Humbolt county is
the phrendliest place to smokers. The cops there look the other way
because without the green economy, the area would be in a bad depression.
So there’s lots of places where smoking is tolerated, sounds like you’re
livin’ in the wrong neck of the woods!

By the way if you can make it to Amsterdam, it will be the high point of your life!

As far as friendly people goes, they seem to be everywhere except big cities. But I’ve always found that the poorest people are usually friendliest cause as Janis sang When you ain’t got nothing, you ain’t got nothing to lose. I guess most hippies qualify.

Of the places I’ve traveled, I’d have to say that the New Zealanders and Balinese are the most friendly people I’ve met. They go way out of their way for strangers.

-The Old Hippy

2002 Update!
Things are changing at last in Europe! Several countries have decriminalized possession and use of cannabis including the UK, Portugal and Belgium. In fact in most of western Europe you’re only likely to get your stash confiscated or a small fine (as long as you don’t have a large quantity). Of course selling cannabis is still very illegal. Just another hypocrisy due to be changed.

2008 Update:
Things are still changing. California’s prop 215 has allowed hundreds of cannabis dispensaries to open around the state, selling marijuana over the counter to medical patients. The dispensary business sells more than one billion $ a year of high quality cannabis.

Spain has become the new haven for Europeans fleeing their own countries harsh drug laws. The socialist gov’t of Zapatero has loosened up laws and enforcement against those who use cannabis.

Meanwhile the Netherland’s conservative gov’t continues to crack down on growers and coffeeshops, sending chills through the cannabis business community there. Coffeeshops can no longer sell marijuana alongside alcohol. So many have started to open up straight restaurants/cafes alongside their coffeeshops, where they can sell alcohol and people can smoke the cannabis they just purchased next door.

The UK lowered the classification of cannabis one category, but now they’re reconsidering thanks to pressure for anti-drug forces. The UK is awash in contaminated cannabis thanks to Dutch drug gangs adding glass beads to pot to increase the weight and make it look resinous. Nobody is sure of the health consequences of such contamination, and the British gov’t is only now thinking about doing something.

Posted by: skip
Views: 359703

What’s the Difference Between Cannabis & Industrial Hemp?

I am doing a debate for my contemparary issues class on legalization of marijuana and industrial hemp. I have looked in books and on the web and have seen a few different statements about what hemp is. I have heard that it is a cousin plant of marijuana , or it is the fiber from the stem of the marijuana plant, and couple other things. So what is it really?

Hemp is a product (or many products) made from the fiber of the cannabis plant. The variety of cannabis grown for hemp is not the same grown for smoking. It is bred for it’s fiber capacity, not for it’s THC potency. Thus cannabis grown for hemp has a miniscule amount of THC and cannot be smoked to get you high (you’d just get a headache). So Cannabis has different subspecies with different characteristics, and the kind grown for hemp is a subspecies (which means it can still breed with the subspecies that produce lots of THC, but would likely ruin them for THC production).

Hope this helps,
The Old Hippy

Posted by: skip
Views: 24815

Too Stoned For Friend

I am probably one of the last people on earth who you would want to
answer to, because I am very adamant about my views on drugs. I don’t
like drugs! It’s as plain as that. I understand that people are going
to continue doing drugs and I cannot change that. I am 21 years old,
and I have done my share, but I have found life to be much less a burden
without getting wasted!

Here is my problem, I hope that you can find
it in your heart to find a solution for me. I had a friend (best
friend) who seems to be ditching me out for weed. She knows that I
don’t want to hang out with her if she is high, but she breaks plans
with me, and never wants to hang out with me because she’d rather smoke
weed. Does she actually think that a plant is more important than a

Why do stoners tend to ditch their friends to smoke weed? If
weed isn’t additive, then why do stoners become so depressed when they
can’t find weed? Why would anyone want to forsake who they actually are
for a phony personality which is brought on by a substance?

Good question! The problem is one of attitude and respect. Yes, many
stoners abuse the sacred herb and try to stay high most of the time. Yes,
they often get depressed for about two days after they stop (but it’s no
worse than caffeine users going without!). Perhaps this friend considers
you something of a downer when she’s high. If you dis her because she’s
high, that will certainly make her not want to spend time with you. If you
can’t accept what she does, and not make an issue of it, then perhaps you
shouldn’t see her anymore.

If you can accept her and her ways, then the best thing to do is drop by
and get her to go out with you into the real world. Gently remind her there
is more to do than getting stoned not by telling her, but by showing her
yourself. You see it’s fun to do many things high or straight, but the
problem with weed is that it makes you lethargic (lazy). I myself am guilty
of avoiding people and events when high. And I often regret missing out on
much of what’s happening just cause I couldn’t motivate myself to move! So
if you’re a true friend, help her to get out and enjoy life then perhaps she
won’t be a stay-at-home-stoner, and will indulge less when you’re around.
It would be a great favor for her if you did!

Let me know what happens!

The Old Hippy

Posted by: skip
Views: 32876

Marijuana, the Gateway Drug?

My step sister has smoked marijuana and says that it leads her to
heroin. I say that is nonsense, because I smoke it and I never
want heroin, or any other hard drug for that matter. Now she’s
smoking cigarettes and claims they’re safer for you that pot. She’s
all cleaned up now, but I’m afraid that cigarettes are going to make
her start shooting up again. I want to make her see that pot is not
a gateway drug, and can be very beneficial to you. Any advice will
be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

This is an important issue that has been propagandized to the max. The whole concept of a gateway drug is meaningless in psychological terms. There is absolutely no proof that doing one drug would lead to another specific drug being used by an individual. What psychologists (and geneticists) have proven is that certain people are suseptible to becoming addicts of one sort or another. It’s called addictive personality. And it’s the major factor (that they’ve found so far) to determine whether someone will become addicted to drugs, cigarettes, alcohol or gambling. Which one the person chooses can sometimes be determined by genetic predisposition.

So if someone has an addictive personality, then sooner or later that person will succumb to an addiction. It could even be an addtiction to work! The whole thing is happening at the level of brain chemistry and scientists are just beginning to get a handle on it. The truth is there are drugs out there that can break the cycle of addiction for people, esp. those addicted to heroin for instance. Ibogaine is one drug that shows promising results with a very low relapse rate.

Marijuana too may well KEEP people off harder drugs, esp. alcohol. Many
people who abuse alcohol cut back their consumption once they start smoking
pot. It would sure be great if we could have some stats on this and we need
much more research to determine the effects and benefits of marijuana, but
of course the U.S. government would never allow open research on the subject
and has just now approved the first new studies of marijuana in something
like 30 years!

In the case of your stepsister, she may be correct that smoking cigarettes
is safer than marijuana FOR HER. This would be that she can purchase
cigarettes at the corner grocery store instead of having to seek out drug
dealers who may also have heroin readily available. This is the only
possible connection between marijuana and harder drugs is that the laws that
keep marijuana illegal, also keep the black market dealing marijuana along with
other hard drugs. So the temptation is always there, esp. when the
dealers run out of marijuana, smokers wanting to get high might opt for
another drug for their party if it’s available. So it’s not that it’s a
gateway, so much as that it is illegal that leads people to harder drugs.

Want proof of this claim? The Dutch have studied this far more than any
country, and when they permitted coffeeshops to sell marijuana and hashish,
they removed these drugs from the streets, and separated the users from the
hard drug dealers. Now there is ample supply of cannabis in Holland, and no
reason for those who use it to seek out other drugs! In fact the incidence
of all drug use in Holland is FAR BELOW that of the U.S. But of course the
U.S./DEA drug propaganda machine will never tell the truth about this.

So it’s one thing to decide not to use marijuana on a personal basis, and
it’s quite another to condemn marijuana as a gateway to other drugs. It’s
just another LIE.

Load the peace pipe,
The Old Hippy

Posted by: skip
Views: 28677